First, take a good, hard look at the marriage relationship. It may be possible to work things out before it’s too late. Perhaps you can discuss the possibility of counseling, or recommitting to the relationship and working harder. Don’t give up on the marriage if there is still a chance. Divorce is a life-altering decision that should be carefully considered. If you have already decided that divorce is the only way to resolve the issues between yourself and your spouse, then it’s time to stop a moment, take a deep breath, and prepare for what’s coming.

One of the biggest changes that occurs from a divorce is your legal learning curve. Before initiating divorce, make sure you understand all the laws, especially the custody and property distribution laws in your state. Most states will grant access to the children by both parents because the courts know this will serve the best interest of the children. If sharing custody of your children is an issue, then think long and hard before proceeding with divorce. Also property will most likely be divided evenly and fairly, so you need to know what you may end up with, and what you may lose.

Before divorce, be prepared to be on your own financially. Sometimes the job you have now isn’t going to cut it after a divorce so you may want to start looking for another job before the divorce. If your spouse handled all the money, paid all the bills, and had credit cards in their name–you’ll want to change that. Get a credit card in your name before the divorce. Debt is another critical concern. Make sure the debts are in the name of the actual person to whom they really belong. After a divorce, if your name was on a debt, credit card, account, etc., they can and will come after you for payment.

If it seems like a lot to consider, it is. Most big decisions in life require some help and divorce is no exception. A good, experienced divorce or family law attorney is the best place get some help and to seek legal advice before deciding to divorce.

To request a temporary order, you will need to file a motion and attend a hearing. At your hearing, a judge will decide whether to grant the temporary order is issued, and what conditions are involved. Once granted, temporary orders are usually valid until the court holds another hearing, or until both spouses arrive at their own settlement through negotiation or mediation. To ask for a temporary order, you will need several items.

First, you’ll need a request for the court order you want. Usually, the forms you need are called an Application for Order to Show Cause, and an Order to Show Cause. An Order to Show Cause is a simple, fill-in-the-box legal form that states what you are asking for (i.e. temporary child support). This form orders your spouse to come to court on a specific day and time to explain why the court should not grant your request.

Second, you will generally need supporting documentation. This is a written statement describing the facts that legally justify the temporary order. You will sign this under penalty of perjury. You can also include statements from witnesses, and other people who have first-hand knowledge of the facts involved. You will also need a proposed temporary order to submit to the court. This order will be signed by the judge if he grants your request. Finally, you will need proof of service. This is a document that proves to the court that papers have been properly delivered (“served”) to your spouse.

Other conditions that qualify for annulments include: mental incapacity of your spouse, underage at the time of your marriage, marriage under the influence of alcohol or drugs, impotency, concealed divorce, and marriage under fraud, duress, or force. Let’s look at each of these in more detail.

First, there is the issue of underage marriage. If you married younger than 14, then you can get an annulment. Also, if you married when you were over 14 but under 18, and you married without parental consent or a court order, then you can get an annulment. The court will also issue an annulment if either party was impotent at the time of the marriage. For this type of annulment, you cannot have known of the impotency problem at the time of the marriage, and you cannot have voluntarily lived with the person since you learned of the condition.

If your marriage was never consummated, then this is also grounds for an annulment. If you married under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or mental incapacity, then you can seek an annulment. Annulments may also be granted if your spouse did not have the mental capacity to understand the nature of marriage, and there was no way that you could have known about this beforehand. If you are seeking an annulment on the grounds of mental incapacity, it’s important that you have not lived with your spouse since you discovered that he was mentally incapable.

If you were married under force, fraud, duress, or enormous psychological pressure then you can get an annulment. If you file under the grounds of force, fraud, or duress, you cannot have lived with the person since you learned of the fraud, or from the time that you were able to escape duress. Other criteria for annulments include a marriage less than 72 hours after issuance of a marriage license, and marriage within 30 days after a divorce. Consult your attorney for more details about marriage annulments.

Your divorce attorney can help arrange a settlement, which can minimize (or possibly eliminate) the need to go to court. Very frequently, spouses will begin the contested divorce process, and then reach agreement (via negotiation) before the actual trial date. The biggest benefit of a settlement is that neither spouse will appeal it. With a court ruling, however, there is the likelihood that an unhappy spouse could appeal the court decision, causing more litigation, expense, and a longer period of time before the divorce is finalized.

Attorneys on both sides can help you and your spouse reach an agreement that is acceptable to both parties. If you reach a settlement with your spouse, be sure to have an experienced divorce attorney draw-up the agreement to make it legally binding. Contested divorces are legally complex; therefore, it is not a good idea to represent yourself. For the best outcome, work with an experienced attorney who can guide you through the divorce process.

Uncontested divorce is generally faster, easier, and less expensive than contested divorce. This is because it does not usually require litigation. Many divorce cases begin as uncontested divorces – however, over time, they become “contested” as spouses begin fighting about certain key issues. In an uncontested divorce, both spouses agree on the key issues, and do not need the court to make determinations about asset division, child custody arrangements, or child support payments.

After your petition has been processed at the courthouse, it will be delivered to your spouse by a sheriff, police officer, or private process server. This is generally referred to as being “served” divorce papers. Your spouse will be informed that a lawsuit has been filed, with a limited number of days in which to respond. Both parties to the lawsuit (you and your spouse) can file “temporary orders,” which are effective during the lawsuit, until your divorce is granted. Temporary orders can determine which spouse will continue living in the family home, require payment of monthly bills, assign temporary child custody, determine who pays attorney’s fees, and much more.

During the divorce proceedings, a temporary restraining order can also be issued by the court. A temporary restraining order can prevent harassment, property sale or transfer, and other specific actions. If you request temporary orders (or a temporary restraining order), the court will set a hearing date. If an agreement with your spouse is not reached before your scheduled hearing, then you will be required to appear in court. If you have children, then the court must deal with child custody issues at the same time.

The next step in Texas divorce proceedings is “discovery.” During the discovery process, your attorney will learn more about the defendant (your spouse) and what is relevant to the lawsuit. Common parts of the discovery process include: depositions (oral testimony), requests for disclosure, requests for production of documents (i.e. tax returns, bank account statements, deeds). The discovery process helps to determine property & asset values, and how to fairly divide them.

The final step in the divorce process is settlement or trial. After each side has gathered information (through the discovery process), both parties can try to resolve their case by mutual agreement. This is commonly known as “settlement.” A formal court hearing can sometimes be avoided if a settlement can be reached. Mediation and direct negotiation can help resolve disputes over child custody, child support, and division of assets. If disputes cannot be settled through negotiation, then either party can request that the Court set a formal date for the divorce trial.

At the trial, the Court will hear all the evidence and make a decision. The trial ruling must be put into a written order, which is called a “Decree of Divorce.” At least one of the parties must appear before the judge and give sworn testimony before the divorce decree is formally granted. If the testimony meets the legal requirements for a divorce, the judge will sign the Decree of Divorce. In most situations, this is the end of the divorce process.